This is a weird blog post to write about because I didn’t think it’d be that insightful, but it really might be for some people. I have really, really bad acne scars. Let’s talk about them.

At 19, I went from 100% clear skin to “textbook” severe cystic acne out of nowhere in two weeks. By the time I made it to a dermatologist, it was already too late: I had permanent scar damage.

A quick timeline of what happened after that:

1. My acne was so bad that it would bleed if I touched it. I would wake up with blood on my pillow everyday.
2. I had to go on birth control and sign documentation that I wouldn’t get pregnant because the medication they were about to put me on for six months (Isotretinoin, also known as Accutane)  caused birth defeats
3. Monthly blood work and mental wellness checks because of the side affects of this medicine.
4. After medication completion, everyone asked if I lost weight, that’s how different/smaller my face looked.
5. I was told at my first scar removal consultation that I had too much melanin and was not a candidate for laser treatment.  
6. One extremely bad chemical peel caused me miss work for seven days.
7. I paid about $2500 to get the “most painful treatments in dermatological” to try and rid my scarring. Turns out, it didn’t even work. Read more about that journey in detail on this post here.

Since then, I’ve learned to embrace the scarring as much as I can, but one thing people fail to realize about acne scarring: IT’S YOUR FACE. I’ve been spending the last 8 years of my life trying to get my own face back. I’m not confident because it’s natural to me, I’m confident because I have to remind myself.

Everyone has their “thing.” Mine is my acne/scarring. Now, I maintain.

Here are my top tips for my scarring:

1. Hydration!!! If I don’t drink enough water, my scarring is much deeper and my skin is dull, which extenuates them.
2. I like monthly facials when I can afford them. I feel like it makes my skin look better overall and keeps the “gunk” out.
3. Double cleansing. I learned this from the Koreans, but I wash my face twice at night: once with an oil based cleanser and once with a water based one.

At the end of the day, The scars are my “thing.” That one thing I lowkey hate about myself. The whole purpose of this post was to tell you done to let your “thing” get to you because it makes you who you are.

Even if I let these scars get me down for five minutes, that was five minutes too long. I can throw money to painful dermatological treatments (and trust me, I have), but they’re a part of who I am now! And I love who I am!

Thanks for reading. If you ever have any specific questions, please comment or shoot me a message! I’d love to chat about it with you.

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