A love letter to the partners of my girls

I have never been shy to be dramatic, corny, or write how deeply I appreciate the platonic love of my female friendships. So buckle up. The relationships I hold with my friends is an integral element to what I hold truly dear to my heart. All through your teens and twenties, your girls are the ones you lean on.

Need someone to pick you up from the airport? A girl was there.

Need a buddy for a trip? A girl was there.

Need someone to overthink with? A girl was there.

Need a shopping opinion? A girl was there.

Then one day, you wake up at 31, look around and realize: the girls you once had are still there, but they’re now women, and they’re standing next to men. 

You’re left with the realization that you may have someone pick you up from the airport, but she’s in the passenger seat and he’s driving.

You may have the buddy for the trip, but she needs to run it by him and make sure those dates work first.

You can overthink with them, but he’s going to eavesdrop from the kitchen and say “that guy doesn’t care as much as you do, Alex.”

You have shopping opinions, but while you’re in Lululemon, she may pick up a pair of their pants for her man. 

And at this age, it can be a stark and sudden reality to look around and feel like you’re the last one. Another engagement, another wedding, another pregnancy announcement. But to my surprise, and my relief, I feel genuine happiness. There’s no jealousy, and it’s actually a feeling of immense abundance and appreciation. 

Because what a gift it is, to have a love, double with a partnership, and triple when they have children. It’s a privilege to watch your girls become selfless in the form of a partner. What a beautiful act of devotion to care so deeply about another that your lives become one. And watching a girl you have loved for so long, become a mother, makes you burst with so much pride it’s almost hard to bear.

One day, you’re gossiping in high school about her first real boyfriend. Then the next, you’re watching her dance in her twenties in a crop top, and then what feels like in just a moment more, you see her husband in the kitchen, making pancakes for your girl’s baby boy, and you realize: she’s taken care of. Her child is taken care of. And it all makes you take a huge breath & stop worrying. 

In a partnership and a marriage, you make so many sacrifices and loving your partners friends, can be a result of that. I have had the honor and the privilege of experiencing this, by now more often than not. I’ve had these men carry my suitcase, defend me after breakups, wish me a happy birthday and care for me as their own friend or sister.

I loved her before you did, but you have loved her in a way I could never give her. I feel such a relief to be able to know that she doesn’t have to figure it out alone anymore, because she has you. I see how you compliment her life and make it better, and it nearly brings me to tears. 

Thank you, and although I don’t know you like I know her, I love you, because she does.